am i going nuts?

My compost for thinking.

Objectivity is impossible. With attention, we can get closer to it.

I’ve done a morning writing exercise 1,003 times in the last 1,004 days.¹

Part of this wonderful exercise (Morning Pages) is filling 3 handwritten pages in a notebook. For me, that’s 850-900 words using only the lines inside the margins—the conventional approach.

Morning Pages aren’t typically reread or read by others and are often thrown away. It’s one of the rules. But one rule of rules is some rules can be broken.

About a month ago, I did the math and realized I could hit the same word count while reducing my paper use by a third if I used all the space on the page. That’d mean I’d get 12 more days from each notebook of 70 pages. Each year, I’d move from using 15.6 notebooks to 10.4. That’s a savings of 5.2 notebooks—five or ten bucks a year and a little less impact on the planet.

When I share that, what’s your first thought?

I talked with 3 people separately about my discovery and concluded with that question. Answers—

• “Why would you waste your time thinking that through? Do you not have better things to do?”

• “First thought? Autism.”

• “I was thinking, ‘Of course Sam knows it’s 850 words.’”

These are people close to me. They felt comfortable giving me their true feelings. I wasn’t sharing this with new friends on a plane.

Then, I asked—

How fast did you come up with your opinion?

Each said it was before I finished telling them of my newfound savings. I’d have done the same with them.

That makes those initial thoughts judgments rather than assessments.

We assess to understand. We judge to decide.

Too often we collapse the gap between the two.

When I’m assessing anything important, I try to remember to spreadsheet it—figuratively and sometimes literally (think money). I want to put out all known information for consideration, discussion, and revision before neutering objectivity with opinions. I’ll get to opinions and beating things from all sides after spreadsheeting and a little space for absorption.

No time? Then I skip the spreadsheeting and space. Put a gun to my head, I’m not gonna ask you its type.

Here’s a bit of a beating beyond the math—

What if those margins in the notebooks are where they are to encourage more consumption? Not a big deal to save $5 or $10 a year for some people. The attention isn’t worth the savings.

So the incremental waste in volume makes much more money for the notebook maker. I eat because I sell notebooks and I’m pleased with your inattention.

You share this story and it gets traction, I might even work to make you look like a fool for pointing it out. Last thing I need is all those people doing Morning Pages with my notebooks to start using less.

Too many bad people in the world not to believe some of that’s possible.

Sidenote—

I wanted to make spreadsheeting the headline for this piece because I think this is something more people can get value from if it’s not missed. But, my thinking was you’d be more interested if you thought I might be going nuts (maybe I am). Maybe you’d like to look at a train wreck more than a spreadsheet hack.

So I played the contemporary headline game I detest because my name and following don’t carry the weight of Gladwell or Harari. Someone sees my name they don’t drop everything to find out what I’ve written. I need to beg for attention with a little trickery (ugh)—like some of today’s media.

Unfortunately, that means I likely planted a bias and tainted the project for you. My friends didn’t have that seed. I delivered my findings cold to test my theory.

Ironically, my theory was sparked by the self-judgment of my research into saving paper. (Are you serious, Sam?)

Back to the show—

This lack of objectivity can hinder and block improvement (joy).

I hope you understand. I’m not pointing this out to save some trees—although, it’s a nice plus.

I’m trying to spreadsheet the value of objectivity and attention and trying to get better with it myself. I’m hoping a few more people in the world might find it valuable too.

Space is a beautiful thing to give your thinking—and the people you love.

Funny to notice after starting a practice to crowd my Morning Pages.²

1. The missed day followed a fun wedding filled with some childlike decisions capped off with a late-night visit to a sticky-floored bar that took only cash. Mmmmm.

2. Also, funny to me because I can’t walk by poorly presented writing that forgets about the value of space without wanting to fix it. I’m the Comms Cop.