2 people over 36 hours.
Strange and beautiful.
I was in a rush to meet someone for a lunch meeting and had no way to pay the parking meter. A couple with maybe a 5-year-old step up to the central meter to pay for their car.
“Hi,” I said to the man. “Do you have Venmo? I’ve got the wrong credit card for this machine. If you pay for me, I could send the total back and add a couple bucks.”
“No man. How about we just pay for you? No big deal.” I pushed back, but he wouldn’t have it, so I thanked him and let him know, I’d pick up someone else’s tab as soon as I could.
“Thanks for being hope in the world,” I said. Nice example for his kid, I thought as I walked away.
Next day, I’m walking with my boy Vinnie through Carytown—an area of Richmond with shops, restaurants, and bars. An unhoused guy I’d seen many times before approached me and asked for $6.
“I’m sorry. I’ve got nothing on me,” I said.
He pointed to a bank on the corner. “There’s an ATM over there.”
“I have nothing with me except this guy,” pointing to Vinnie. “You have a phone with Venmo?” I asked.
“No,” he said and quickly walked off in the other direction. He seemed under more stress than I’d seen him before.
As I kept walking, I recalled my luck the day before.
I was about a mile and a half from home. Even if I came back, I doubted he’d still be there. About 40 meters away, a nice restaurant was serving breakfast. It had a couple of windows open to the street.
I waved a young woman over who worked there. Vinnie’s not allowed into restaurants because he walks on his hands and feet. I was hoping for the Venmo exchange I’d tried the day before.
She came over. “Hi. My name is Sam Parker. Do you have Venmo? I need $6 to give to that guy up there,” pointing up the block. “If you can help, I’ll send you the money back with a few extra bucks."
“I don’t have Venmo, but I’ll just give you the money. Don’t worry about it,” she said as she went to grab the money.
“Here you go.”
“That’s kind of you. I’ll be back with your money within the next few days. What’s your name? ”
“I’m Alex. Don’t worry about the money. It’s not necessary.”
I thanked her. Vinnie and I quickly walked back up the block and gave the guy the money. He seemed surprised, thanked me, and told me his name. We’ve talked a few times since. He made a run at being a professional tennis player when he was young and then joined the Marines. Now Vin and I occasionally carry a few bucks with us on our walks.
Three days later, we went back to the restaurant around the same time of day, hoping to catch Alex (not her real name). I didn’t see her through the open window, so I waved a guy over.
“Hi. I borrowed some money the other day from Alex. I’m here to pay her back. Is she working?”
“No, she’s not.”
“Can you tell me when she is? I walk by here all the time and want to get the money to her.” I didn’t trust leaving it for her. Interesting given that everyone was trusting me.
He looked at the schedule and let me know she’d be in the next morning, so I went back and repaid her with a few extra bucks attached.
I talk a lot about feeling lucky for my luck.
My layers of luck on those few days were ridiculous. Not only was I given money on the street twice with no ask in return, but someone also trusted me—although he shouldn’t have, I understand—and let me know when Alex would be there.
All the kindness was helpful, but it also inspired me to want to be a better person for the next couple of weeks. Writing this for you is doing that too. I’m not a bad guy, but kindness is not always as innate as I’d like.
I remember—
Sitting in the car with my wife many years ago. It was after one of our kids’ school events. One of the other parents came to the car to say a few words—all smiles—completely and genuinely happy and kind.
When he left, I asked My Lady, “How does he do that?”
“What?”
“How does he always seem so happy and nice all the time?”
She said, “Maybe he just is, Sam.”
Which reminded me—
Please email me with edits, thoughts, comments, or suggestions (or put them here in the comments). Please don’t be shy or worry about my feelings. Quick, blunt, and maybe interesting or helpful1 is always welcome.
“Maybe interesting or helpful” is meant to free you of concern.
I’d rather you risk sharing something with me than being concerned it might not land well. If your thought implies I’m stupid or an asshole, you might be right. If so, I’d like to try to fix it.
Think we need to get more stories like this out there …. I hope that these are more common than we hear about
Sometimes I think we’re surprised by kindness because, in most corners of life we’ve been conditioned to expect inefficiency, guardedness, or indifference instead. Sometimes it's also because we've seen too much of the opposite—dismissiveness, self-interest, or even harm. So when kindness appears, it can stir something in us. A reminder that compassion still lives and breathes! Thanks Sam.